Death by PowerPoint

February 24th, 2010

It’s a slow death to be sure.  Similar to the classic “death of a thousand cuts”; only replace the tiny slashes of the razor with bullet points - fact after fact, benefit after benefit. 

The listener’s mind disengages instantly, wandering off to their coming vacation, wondering what’s for dinner tonight or pondering when the Leafs might actually win the Stanley Cup.  Or perhaps deeper metaphysical inquiry into the composition of Dark Matter?

And it goes on…  Slide after slide, bullet point after excruciating bullet point, punctuated by the odd graphic or visual to break up the monotony.   

Not guilty you might say!  But I hate to tell you, we are all guilty, like characters in an Agatha Christie mystery. 

In the process we achieve the exact opposite of what we intended to do, engage the listener and win them over.

Normally, a death by PowerPoint starts innocuously enough, with an agenda highlighting the entire process, kind of like a torturer laying out his instruments so that the victim can see the method of his pain.

Normally the torture has mostly harmless names beside bullet points.  Words like “Our Process”, “Our Approach” and “Your Opportunities”. 

Now stifle that yawn…

After careful review of thousands of corporate presentations (the guilt is widespread) the sad fact of life is that they are all the same.  Don’t believe this?  Take a bunch of presentation slides and toss them on the floor, stir them vigorously and then reassemble them.  Chances are they will make some kind of sense.

And that’s scary… 

I know, I tried it for myself and then presented the results to a client who, thankfully, lapsed into a fugue state after several minutes and did not seem to notice. 

So everybody is saying the same thing and making the same claims – we offer a solution, we are the industry leader, we are state of the art, and we will do your laundry and wash your windows…

It’s true that we offer great benefits and fantastic solutions.  So why the disconnect?  Or rather the failure to connect? 

Most business presentations crowd out the human element.  You end up reciting facts and figures off a screen full of bullet points which have been laid out attractively in the proper corporate colours and meet graphic standards.  The presentation follows a perfect logic which progresses to a conclusion that is so logical that it is guaranteed to produce spectacular results. 

Except it doesn’t…

The reason? 

If life was Star Trek this kind of presentation would work very well on Mr. Spock.  However, most of us don’t have pointy ears and green blood.  Humans tend to respond on two levels, the intellectual and the emotional. 

The mind might be engaged and the heart might be off somewhere by itself stalking deer (my sincere apologies to Carson McCullers).  Think of how your favourite television show might look if it followed the standard business presentation model. 

The agenda would present the three act structure upfront – character development, conflict, drama and humour would all grow wings and fly out the window and the audience would quickly turn the channel to find something more fulfilling like “America’s Funniest Home Shop Accidents”. 

In stark contrast, consider a drama where the action starts on a high stakes poker game.  The series hero, who is somewhat flawed, has a great hand and raises the stakes.  Everyone else folds except for the player directly across the table who meets the bet and raises it to $10,000, which the hero does not have.  His opponent offers to accept an IOU.  Of course the hero loses the hand and now owes this stranger, who is a shady character, $10,000 that he does not have. 

The additional complication, the hero is a police detective, who tends to operate on the legal edges.  

Roll opening credits…

We are now hooked and can’t wait for the opening credits and commercials to be over. 

Will our hero get out of this without breaking the law or compromising his principles? 

Now, imagine a presentation that hooked you in the same way.  How about an audience who can’t wait until you reveal your next point? 

Then stay tuned for part two in which techniques will be revealed, a hero will rise and you will establish ultimate rapport with your audience.
 

It Crawled from my comments box Part Two…

December 6th, 2009

When you have a blog it doesn’t take too long for the scam artists to find it and try to link to it via comments spam.  They apparently are trying to push their ratings up in Google by linking to as many blogs as possible.  Most of the spam is of the inane variety EG: ??????????? or in some other language, perhaps Lutonian.   Lately, however, they have become more entertaining by cribbing out of corny joke books.  So to thank them for all their hard work I present a sampling of the “jokes” that have landed in my comments box in the last week.  Read the rest of this entry »

The New York Guide at Zinio…

November 4th, 2009

new-york-guide.jpgWe made the splash page on Zinio for the electronic edition (which is a terrific buy).  Check it out here.

The print edition will be arriving in bookstores in a couple of weeks.

Presently, I am immersed in writing the London guide hence the lack of new postings for a while. Read the rest of this entry »

FlashForward…

September 25th, 2009

Joseph Fiennes and Rob SawyerFlashForward premiered last night and I have to say that I really liked it.  In the interest of full disclosure, the show is based on my friend Rob Sawyer’s novel of the same name.  (That’s Rob in the picture with series star Joseph Fiennes) Read the rest of this entry »

Julian Comstock reviewed this Wednesday…

August 22nd, 2009

Julian ComstockThe Globe and Mail online review of Robert Charles Wilson’s Julian Comstock will be featured this coming Wednesday, August 26.

This was my favourite read of the summer and is worth the cost just for the hilarious footnotes alone.  So put down that Julia Child biography or Malcom Gladwell’s latest and have some fun for a change.

This summer’s burning questions…

August 18th, 2009

 

Robert Novak – miss him or piss on his grave?

Why do I think of Lincoln’s observation,You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.” when I listen to the U.S. health care debate? Read the rest of this entry »

Glenn Beck the human wreck…

July 28th, 2009

Glenn Beck, not exactly as shownFaux News commentator Glenn Beck appears to be off his meds once again.  Famous for screaming like a little girl at any caller who offends his rather skewed sense of reality, Glenn has gone completely off the deep end as of late. Read the rest of this entry »

The New York Guide

July 26th, 2009

Baffled By Travel New York Guide

I am just about finished writing Baffled By Travel’s New York Guide which is much cause for celebration around our house.

However, it is like birthing a baby and I tend to suffer from mild post partum depression. Read the rest of this entry »

Books, books and more books…

July 1st, 2009

Baffled By Travel Guide to Toronto and Niagara Falls

The Toronto Guide I wrote is now in the stores and I have been busy finishing up the New York guide which is being published next month. There’s an online preview of the guide right here.  If youwant your very own copy it is available at better bookstores everywhere or online at Indigo.ca. Read the rest of this entry »

Joe blow…

May 6th, 2009

Plumbers for 'mericaI’m afraid that our old friend Joe the Plumber aka Samuel Wurzelbacher is a little past his “best before” date.  Since John McCain hailed him as “my hero” during last fall’s Presidential election Joe has managed to keep himself front and centre in the media with his regular knuckle-headed pronouncements. Read the rest of this entry »

Wake Up…

April 30th, 2009

Robert J. Sawyer WakeWe went  down to the launch of our friend Rob Sawyer’s new book Wake.  Rob just got off the plane at noon from an 18 day book tour across the U.S. and Canada, but that didn’t slow him down as he gave a spirited reading from the book. Read the rest of this entry »

Baffled By Travel Toronto Guide…

April 24th, 2009

Over the past few months I have been working with the Baffled By Travel team helping to create an entirely new type of city guide.

In my position as Senior Writer on the guide I got to discover new places in Toronto.  I also got to rediscover many of the attractions that make the city so great. Read the rest of this entry »

And the old theme is repaired and back in action again…

April 24th, 2009

Finally, after much research and some trial and error I have finally restored the original look of Sparkplug. 

I looked at a number of different themes and finally decided that I wanted to repair the one I had.

And there’s no place like home…

Silent Rider…

April 22nd, 2009

Today is Earth Day and to mark the occasion I am considering buying an electric scooter.  No, not the type the morbidly obese drive in the supermarket, these are traditional motor-scooters of the Vespa variety with an electric motor instead of a gas one. Read the rest of this entry »

My Big Circus DVD has arrived…

April 20th, 2009

bigcircuslc2.jpgWarner Brothers sent along a copy of The Big Circus under their new Archive banner.  With shaking hands I inserted it into my DVD player fully expecting, even though the box graphics and the label said The Big Circus, that it would be some cruel joke or another movie altogether.

But, be still my beating heart, it was the real deal, in glorious widescreen.  Sure the menu was pared down to just a “Play” option, but after all these years that is good enough.  It plays and it looks great, best of all it is a legitimate copy.

Bravo, Warner Brothers and keep the Archive titles coming.