When you have a blog it doesn’t take too long for the scam artists to find it and try to link to it via comments spam.They apparently are trying to push their ratings up in Google by linking to as many blogs as possible.Most of the spam is of the inane variety EG: ??????????? or in some other language, perhaps Lutonian.Lately, however, they have become more entertaining by cribbing out of corny joke books.
So to thank them for all their hard work I present a sampling of the “jokes” that have landed in my comments box in the last week.
Do you want a fresh joke from net? What’s the saddest part of the day? Mourning.
I have a nice joke for you people! What’s a chimney sweep’s most common ailment? The flue.
Wanna very nice joke? Have you seen Quasimodo? I have a hunch he’s back!
I have a good fresh joke for you! What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Do you want a fresh joke from net? What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a spider? A HAREnet!
I have a good fresh joke for you! What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack and I’ll plaster you!
I have a fresh joke for you) Did you hear about the farmer who was found guilty of selling rotten fruit? He was judged by his pears!
Fresh joke! Where does all the pepper go? No one nose.
Good joke What do you call a crazy baker? A dough nut.
Wanna joke?) Why did the bald man put a bunny on his head? He wanted a full head of hare.
I have a good fresh joke for you! What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a spider? A HAREnet!
Do you want a joke? What do you call a drunk who works in an upholstery shop? A recovering alcoholic.
Wanna joke?) When should you use milk to irrigate your fields? When you are growing creamed corn.
I have a nice fresh joke for you people) Did you hear about the dentist who married a manicurist? They fight tooth and nail!
I have a fresh joke for you) What do you get when you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.
I have a joke for you =) What goes faster than a rabbit in a field? A rabbit in a blender.
Fresh joke! Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.
A joke for you! What do you get if you cross a giant and a vampire? A BIG pain in the neck!
A JOKE! ) Why did the man put wheels on his rocking chair? He wanted to rock and roll.
Why do bagpipers walk when they play? They’re trying to get away from the noise.
How would you clean a tuba? Try a tuba toothpaste.
What does it mean when the flag’s at half mast at the post office?They’re hiring.
Did you hear that Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein got together for a meeting last week to discuss their common problem? They both have Kurds in their whey. (Very topical!)
What happens when a ghost haunts a theater? The actors get stage fright.
FlashForward premiered last night and I have to say that I really liked it. In the interest of full disclosure, the show is based on my friend Rob Sawyer’s novel of the same name. (That’s Rob in the picture with series star Joseph Fiennes) Read the rest of this entry »
The Globe and Mail online review of Robert Charles Wilson’s Julian Comstock will be featured this coming Wednesday, August 26.
This was my favourite read of the summer and is worth the cost just for the hilarious footnotes alone. So put down that Julia Child biography or Malcom Gladwell’s latest and have some fun for a change.
Why do I think of Lincoln’s observation,“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.” when I listen to the U.S. health care debate?Read the rest of this entry »
Faux News commentator Glenn Beck appears to be off his meds once again. Famous for screaming like a little girl at any caller who offends his rather skewed sense of reality, Glenn has gone completely off the deep end as of late. Read the rest of this entry »
Baffled By Travel Guide to Toronto and Niagara Falls
The Toronto Guide I wrote is now in the stores and I have been busy finishing up the New York guide which is being published next month. There’s an online preview of the guide right here. If youwant your very own copy it is available at better bookstores everywhere or online at Indigo.ca. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m afraid that our old friend Joe the Plumber aka Samuel Wurzelbacher is a little past his “best before” date. Since John McCain hailed him as “my hero” during last fall’s Presidential election Joe has managed to keep himself front and centre in the media with his regular knuckle-headed pronouncements. Read the rest of this entry »
We went down to the launch of our friend Rob Sawyer’s new book Wake. Rob just got off the plane at noon from an 18 day book tour across the U.S. and Canada, but that didn’t slow him down as he gave a spirited reading from the book. Read the rest of this entry »
Over the past few months I have been working with the Baffled By Travel team helping to create an entirely new type of city guide.
In my position as Senior Writer on the guide I got to discover new places in Toronto. I also got to rediscover many of the attractions that make the city so great. Read the rest of this entry »
Today is Earth Day and to mark the occasion I am considering buying an electric scooter. No, not the type the morbidly obese drive in the supermarket, these are traditional motor-scooters of the Vespa variety with an electric motor instead of a gas one. Read the rest of this entry »
Warner Brothers sent along a copy of The Big Circus under their new Archive banner. With shaking hands I inserted it into my DVD player fully expecting, even though the box graphics and the label said The Big Circus, that it would be some cruel joke or another movie altogether.
But, be still my beating heart, it was the real deal, in glorious widescreen. Sure the menu was pared down to just a “Play” option, but after all these years that is good enough. It plays and it looks great, best of all it is a legitimate copy.
Bravo, Warner Brothers and keep the Archive titles coming.
In my ongoing quest to find a new template for Sparkplug I am trying out yet another new theme. Let me know what you think of this three column format.
What do you call a crazy baker? A dough nut.
